Nothing says “fuck you” like the use of the imperative to imply the inability to opt-out.


Whore out your friend & family’s information in exchange for garbage!


Hurray! More plastic for your trash!


Win a playground that’ll make you want to stab your eyes to replace the one the school already has.


Use kids to guilt trip friends & family into buying shit they don’t need to make a company profit; a side-effect of which will be raising pennies on the dollar for the school (but who knows that information is nowhere to be found).


Make sure to read the “Tips for successful selling” so you can be a great sales drone, this is how you do fundraising in la la land.

IMG_0355Grab the deluxe package & teeth whitening from a company in Minnesota, that’s the school picture spirit!

Asking concerned parents to chip in, hiring a local photographer to take pictures of all the kids. Nah.