Nothing says “fuck you” like the use of the imperative to imply the inability to opt-out.

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Whore out your friend & family’s information in exchange for garbage!

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Hurray! More plastic for your trash!

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Win a playground that’ll make you want to stab your eyes to replace the one the school already has.

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Use kids to guilt trip friends & family into buying shit they don’t need to make a company profit; a side-effect of which will be raising pennies on the dollar for the school (but who knows that information is nowhere to be found).

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Make sure to read the “Tips for successful selling” so you can be a great sales drone, this is how you do fundraising in la la land.


IMG_0355Grab the deluxe package & teeth whitening from a company in Minnesota, that’s the school picture spirit!


Asking concerned parents to chip in, hiring a local photographer to take pictures of all the kids. Nah.